Well from that wordy title you can safely assume I'm in quite a
contemplative mood to night. It happens to me when I've been decorating,
stripping walls and generally getting pretty grubby. Today Gems Mum and Dad
and grandparents have been over and we've been working on the nursery. I'll
post a picture of it in it's current state if I get a chance but basically
we've been stripping around 40 year old wall paper and getting it ready for
the plasterer who's in on Monday. Once that's done we can actually start the
good work of turning a grotty bedroom in to a lovely nursery.
Anyway:
Gem keeps saying this year is turning in to the longest year of her life and
that it all seems to be going really slowly. For me, I'm completely the
opposite, it doesn't seem like a couple of weeks since we found out we were
expecting but yet it's been 5 months. Here comes the scary part. Considering
that there's only 14 weeks to go that seems not long at all. 3 and a half
months isn't bad. 102 days isn't bad, but 14 weeks seems pretty soon.
The question I keep asking my self is will we be ready?
As long as nothing goes wrong then I think the house and all the physical
stuff for the baby should be ready but am I psychologically ready for this
little one to come and turn our lives up side down?
I can't remember if I've blogged about this but we had sort of decided that
we'd probably wait 18 months to 2 years after we got married before we start
a family. Back in December Gem spoke to me about it again and my thoughts
were something along the lines of I'm two young to be a dad, I'm not
responsible enough, I've only just stopped staying out late at night when I
was a student. Well as it happens we didn't even make it 8 months after the
wedding until we found out. In terms of a lot of these thoughts I've had to
wake up and smell the coffee as it were and take a look at my thoughts and
feelings. I think a lot of this all stems down from the responsibility
thing.
I truly don't understand these blokes who go out and get a girl pregnant and
don't seem to care. The responsibility that we have for raising children is
just phenomenal. In my view, and this is just my opinion, but it's the
parents responsibility to make sure children grow up with respect, an
understanding of what's write and wrong and a drive to improve themselves
and be the best person they can be. How do you teach a child this sort of
thing!
Maybe I'm over thinking this far too much. But I want the best for our
little one. I want her to achieve what ever she sets her mind at and that
she has the best upbringing possible. At the end I want me and Gem to be in
our granny flat drinking supper out of a straw and having to use a motorised
scooter to go to the loo but be able to say that, through the false teeth,
we did a good job as parents.
(Blind bloke on a granny-raiser, what's not frightening about that!)
Not sure where this post is going now and it's certainly not what I thought
I was going to be writing about tonight when I started but it looks like
senility has already started and my minds wandering.
That's it for now before I go off on any other tangents.
Take care.
Nick.
